“Please let us be able to start IVF.” I walked back into the doctor’s office two months after being on consistent birth control. My head in a good place I was praying, and I walked in the office believing my body was surely healed. I walked in the office with confidence and peace. My fiancé holding my hand every step of the way so I did exactly what I tell you guys I breathed. I got on that table and you guys I was so sure it was gone I mean I had fasted, and prayed. It just had to be gone. The doctor explained to me that the cyst had to be gone in order to start IVF. The doctor set up the sonogram and began to scan. She scanned over my ovary and just as normal as she could she said. “So there’s the cyst.” Gosh those words I almost started to cry again, but I waited to hear the rest of the conversation. I didn’t cry I didn’t let the devil know I was hurt or devastated I decided to wait. I decided to trust God to do exactly what He said.
I was trying to hold it together trust God, and I didn’t even realize she just said “cyst.” Excuse me maybe I didn’t type that down right. She said cyst not cysts she said cyst. It was one left you guys. I left that office two months ago with four small cysts and a big one in the middle. When I came back I only had one cyst left and it had gone down two centimeters. I was so focused on her saying cyst that I almost missed the blessing. I know that doesn’t seem like a big deal to some people, but you don’t understand that birth control didn’t have to work at all. I walked in two months ago with a seven centimeter cyst and four small ones around it. My blessing had already been said, and I didn’t even realize it.
That was the wonderful news it was decreasing it was getting smaller, and the four around it were gone. I wanted to walk in there and be completely healed, and God was still walking along side me. He had another plan for me, and that is what we all need to understand. The way that we plan things in our head are not always the way that God plans things. So all I had to do at this point was to continue to come in and get checked every six weeks to see what my cyst was doing, and then the doctor gave me even more good news it just needed to be three centimeters for us to start IVF. I was able to walk out happy on God’s plan once I let go of mine.
My main focus was to get under God’s umbrella. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my husband, and I wanted us to start this journey of IVF as husband and wife. So we finished planning the wedding, and we said we would come back after marriage to check on everything. It was important to me for us to be in God’s will before trying to have children. So we did I got married just as I had dreamed of. I had the best day of my life with my best friend, and I couldn’t have been happier to be Mrs. Cora Brionne Coleman. My husband is the most supportive man that I know. He wants me to be happy he knows this is my biggest dream, and he won’t stop until we get there.
Fertility sisters sometimes we dream of feeling the baby kick inside, the morning sickness, the labor, the breast-feeding and we create in our mind that is what makes us a mother. That might not be the way God planned it. God may have planned for you to be a mother through surrogacy, adoption, foster care, being a God parent, and instead of crying about what God didn’t do be grateful for what He did do, and is doing. Who am I to say that God didn’t do what He promised simply because He didn’t do it the way that I thought he was going to do it. I can’t change God’s will I just must make a decision to walk in His will and not my own.
I must smile in the middle of adversity knowing that God will and that’s just that GOD WILL. You may have your dream in your head, and when it doesn’t go that way you may immediately feel like the devil is sabotaging you, and sometimes that is factual but sometimes it just wasn’t God’s will. I want to be pregnant naturally, and I want to feel the kicks and have the morning sickness. I want to have the fatigue and the maternity leave because my feet are too swollen to walk around. I want to wobble. I want that badly, and that might be God’s will, but the reality is that it may not be God’s will.
Pregnant women remember the kicking the throwing up, and the symptoms, and other people feeling your belly may remember the kicking, and the look of your stomach, but the child you know what he remembers he remembers the love that he felt from his mother and father. He remembers the person who made him chicken noodle soup. The baby remembers the person who tucked him/her in at night. Pregnancy doesn’t make you a mother chicken noodle soup, bedtime stories, and even time outs that’s what makes you a mother. I don’t know what God’s will is but I believe God for whatever His will is. He promised me my children, and however he gives them to me I trust him because I know for a fact that GOD WILL!!
please continue to pray, no doctor can tell you what GOD will or will not do, in some parts of the bible GOD closed the wombs to i believe it was (ask ur dad lol) to deal with the king perhaps it was to protect abrahams seed, but GOD closed and opened the wombs of the entire area, HE can do whatever He wants to do, you may want to view the duggars site they have been a blessing to me, she was on birthcontrol and miscarried they then decided to have whatever child God blessed them with everyone’s story is different, but their testimony truly blessed me. GOD is soverign http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ext85mgiE1o God bless.
Thank you so much!! I know God can and will!!
AMEN!!
I know exactly where you are. I too suffer from PCOS. Went through a several rounds of IVF, and suffered 2 miscarriages. Then one cycle God fixed it where the doctor couldn’t find my ovary to see if I was ready for retrieval. So we had to cancel the cycle, and that was my last IVF cycle. Then, my husband and I went away on a retreat with our church. On our way back from the retreat we had an appointment with our fertility specialist. After the retreat a peace came over me, and I told my husband and I had had enough, I didn’t want to keep our appointment. I wanted to trust God to provide. My husband, practically shouted. He said, ” FINALLY, I have been tired.” He knew how important it was to me to give him children. He said, ” I just want you and you healthy and happy”. You see, I had spent about 4 weeks in the hospital as a result of complications from IVF. A stomach tap, 2 blood transfusions, a near hysterectomy later my husband had had enough. God had had been speaking all along, I just had my own plan. Once I surrendered, God began to work. I embraced what God would allow. I began to truly trust Him in this process, and as always He began to work. That March our daughter Ana was born, not of my womb, but of my heart. Ana came to us by way of adoption. Ana ha been God’s greatest blessing to my husband and I. The minute I let go, God worked, and quickly. I surrendered to God’s will in February and March Ana was born and came home. To all on this seeming hopeless journey trust the Lord. He has a way make all things well, but only if you trust Him.
What a beautiful story thank you so much Monique for sharing and you just enjoy that beautiful girl of yours!! I pray your story becomes a testimony for all reading this and that they do let go and let God!!
Amen! But I’m still believing God for your pregnancy! Been praying on it daily!
Thanks for your prayers I appreciate it. I know God will make me a mother I’m trusting Him for however it comes about!!
Yes He Will !
And to you as well sis. I also I failed to mentioned I lost my left ovary and left tube to PCOS ,yet I was still able to get pregnant. Though my children are with the Lord, God showed me even, in what I thought my failure or brokenness He is still able and willing to perform a miracle. God Bless you my sister!! I can’t wait to hear your testimony.
Wow you dont know how great it feels to come and read you guys story.. It dosnt make me sad ,hurt,depressed only proud and encouraged.. It really gives me the strenght to cont. To fight and press on you can truly feel the love from each story love u guys and please know yall are in my prayers every night
Beautiful post sis!
Thanks sis I do my best you know we got to speak out!!
Great article! My husband and I were married 15 years before we conceived our twins.I was diagnosed with endometriosis in my twenties.It was a very difficult and hard to understand period of our life.All of my friends were starting their families and although I was thrilled for them there was a emptiness inside me and a longing to be a Mother myself,I was one of 7 Children so Family was always the center of my life and to think that I may never experience the joy of holding my own child in my arms was devastating.But through all the heartache,tears,emotions and frustrations.God brought me to a place of Peace in Him and taught me to trust in Him and His timing.We busied ourselves with the work of the Lord and God brought many spiritual children into our lives and we were fulfilled in knowing that God was in control and whether He chose to bless us with biological children or not that we would indeed birth many spiritual Children!As the days and years went by we were contented in doing Gods will.The opportunity then arose for us to Adopt a beautiful little girl and so We proceeded to pursue this avenue that the Lord had opened up for us.During this processI began to have disturbing symptoms extreme bouts with dizziness and vertigo to the point I could hardly stand.We got concerned that there may be a serious problem so I made an appointment to see the Dr.well,You can probably guess the rest,There was no Brain tumor but there was a growth in my uterus actually,Two growths! Yes,I was 3 months pregnant with Twins!!! I cannot tell you the Joy I felt in that moment! For the sake of time I will bring this to an end,I ususally do not do this type of thing but I felt compelled of the Lord to encourage Ladies out there struggling with infertility as it is a subject very near and dear to my heart.One of our twins did not survive but the other one is a beautiful amazingly gifted and talented 8 year old who has already answered the call of God on her life..We have an amazing 11 year old who we adopted and has been the most amazing blessing imaginable and wants to be a Nurse when she grows up,We are so thankful for both MIRACLES that God has trusted us with! I am so sorry for the lengthy post but I just want every woman out there that is struggling with all the emotional ups and downs of infertility,God does have a perfect plan and timing for you! Trust Him! Rest in Him! Do not allow the enemy to torment you with feelings of frustration and insecurity or inadequacy.God sees the desire of your heart and you must never let go of the promise He made to you in your hour of darkness! If He promised you it WILL come to pass in HIS time! 15 years seemed like an eternity to me but Gods timing could not have been more PERFECT! Prov 3:5-6
What a inspirational story that truly speaks entirely on Gods will don’t worry the day or hour just know that He will!! Bless you and your beautiful girls, and I’m so happy for your success and your win, and God will continue to flourish in your life, and may your lost twin rest in the best of arms that being our heavenly fathers..
You can definitely see your skills in the work you write. The sector hopes for even more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to say how they believe. Always follow your heart.
Thank you very much it means a lot to me that women are able to see my transparency and that they get help through my story. I will continue to write as long as God allows thanks again!!
I am so encouraged by these posts. Some days are so difficult especially with ALL of my pregnant friends and EVERY SINGLE TIME I see a little cute cuddly baby. Even those stupid pregnancy and fertility test commercials make me mad!
I have so many people praying for and with me, but in the end we all know its God timing. I’m glad you keep saying “If he promised it he WILL deliver” I know God is not like man and can not lie. In this I find comfort. It’s coming…..my babies are coming!
There is nothing harder then watching other people gain what you are waiting for. The magic of it all is that imagine how much love those children are gonna get when God finally places them in your hands. You are destined for something so great just by being chosen to fight this battle. We have the victory you just have to believe God can and He will. Trust me I know there are bad days, and moments when it hurts to much where you can’t breathe, but just press forward. It’s easy to give up on ourselves, but don’t give up on your kids. Every time it gets hard for me I remember MiMi sitting on those stairs waiting for me and I keep pushing!!Push forward God will work it out!!
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