We woke up early in the morning and got dressed. We ate breakfast jumped in the car prayed and headed to what would be the biggest most important day of our lives. It was what they called the consummation day, but we called it an awesome life changing moment. You stand in a court room, and there is a lot of legal terms, and questions, and suddenly with a few words you are officially parents to a beautiful little girl, and it changes your life forever. On March 22nd 2013 at 8:45am we adopted our daughter and she became officially Amauri Noelle Coleman, my family was there supporting us, and my friends came, and called and made a big fuss over it, and it was the most life changing experience I had ever gone through. All of my life all I have ever wanted was to be a mommy, and on March 22nd my friends and family came out to celebrate my dream coming true and remembered this day for me. You guys have been apart of the journey with me, and most of you would think that this journey has now come to an end, but it hasn’t you guys we have only just begun. We fought together, prayed together, and cried together over the past year for this first moment this first win, and now we will fight and grow and love together. We will now go to the next journey with me and I invite you because it won’t be easy we will have a lot of trials and storms, but my father preached Backfire the other day and his point was to say that every plan the enemy has to destroy you is going to backfire on him. I want you to know that this journey is not over and now more then ever you should fight because the plan the enemy had to stop you, to take your child, to take your moment, to destroy your pregnancy, to steal your faith, to take your purpose it is going to backfire. I believe God that I am expecting. My fertility sisters this journey is hard you are going to cry you are going to hurt, but you are not going to lose. The Lord has made a covenant with you and in the promise He decrees that you will be fruitful and if you can get into your head that God has called you to be fruitful that he has made you to be fruitful then nothing can detour you and nothing can be taken from you all areas of your life are called to be fruitful. This is our year to claim what the enemy stole. This is our year to get our faith back. In this journey of infertility it is very easy to lose faith, and that is the very thing you need to stand on to decree and declare the promises over your life. I dare you to believe God for your promise have faith on the promise, walk on the promise, and NO MATTER WHAT trust God for the promise. I dare you to have the kind of faith to tell the doctor you are pregnant even if the test says something different. I dare you to believe Gods promise when you are staring at a negative home pregnancy test. I dare you to tell the devil PCOS you are defeated, fibroid you are defeated, miscarriages you are defeated, blocked tubes you are defeated. Whatever you feel is blocking you from God’s promise I dare you to tell the devil BACKFIRE. Stand on the promise stand on the promise stand on the promise until your faith fights for you. Until your faith speaks for you until you can tell the devil whatever you bring to me I believe God. Whatever distraction you bring to me I still believe God, and I won’t let you take my promise. Be careful what you speak over your life the things you see are subject to change. Whatever God tells you…believe that, and if the devil brings something to you or something shakes your faith speak life over yourself speak promises over yourself do not be shaken be expecting. Expect the promise expect the covenant. Do not let the devil take from you anymore from this day forward you will expect the promise today you are Officially Expecting. GET READY!!
I already have it!!
Wow it’s been a long time guys, and I have truly missed you and been through so much since the last time we spoke. I have three girls in my home age’s 7months-4years old and it is a lot. JoJo is gone he went on to live with a family member, and I miss him every single day, and every single hour, and every single moment, but I know God has a plan for him beyond what I can see. I pray for his mother, and his family. My journey of infertility has been an uphill climb. My body is healed, and I can try to get pregnant without any help. My husband and I are working on getting our bodies healthy, and getting ready for this to be the year of the promise. We are headed into adopting Amauri, and we could not be happier. I am so elated to be able to say I am truly without a doubt, and no extra people a mommy of an outstanding, dramatic, beautiful little girl. I am even more excited to be able to share her with you all very soon. It will be a year that we have had Amauri March 30th, and I truly can not remember life before her.
Since then I have been able to encourage people push people, and be excited for all of my fertility sisters that won the battle last year, and are claiming the battle this year. I was so very encouraged when one of the pastors under my father began her series, and it was called the Nehemiah experience, and I have dreamed of birthing him, and received confirmation after confirmation that he is coming. I was driving one day, and one of my spiritual big brothers told me to listen to Promises by Vashawn Mitchell and it is a beautiful song, but what stood out to me the most was one line of the song says. “The Promises of God are already mine.” I am writing to tell you that the enemy is after your promise, and he will send counterfeit people to break you, and to make you think that your promise isn’t coming, but I am coming today to put a wall against the enemy and to tell you. If God said it, and you believe it then the promises of God are already yours. There is a shift that is happening in the spirit realm and God is about to position you into a place where you can receive His promise. You can have what you believe God for.
I had a women come into my life she was after my parents, and at the time I didn’t see it. I thought she was a genuine person. Well when God shut the door on our “friendship” she began to curse my life; she began to curse Nehemiah coming. She came after me and my husband in the name of Jesus. I got shaken, but then I started feeling the spiritual warfare from her. I felt as if I was fighting the devil. It went on and on until I could not fight anymore. I then realized I was fighting her over a promise that was already mine. What God promised you don’t let the enemy, the flood, and the turmoil’s of life make you shake, but stand on the promise it’s already yours. I know you see other people’s promises coming to pass, but be not weary in well doing the promises of God are claimed for you and if you would shift your self into a receiving position; I guarantee you that it would land in your lap. GET READY for your promise and prepare for the counterfeits to come forth and shake you but if your soul is anchored in Jesus and He has already told you it is coming then that is all you need.
Be blessed my fertility sisters till next time keep fighting and most importantly WIN!!
Your Fertility Sister Cora B. Coleman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb5lzlozGGs
Don’t Get Attached to the Counterfeit NO!!
Don’t get too attached is one of the first things they tell you in foster care. You never know what could happen, and if you are to attached you could send yourself into a nervous breakdown. We got Amauri, and walked on eggshells for almost two weeks hoping to get the call that we would be keeping her, and we finally got the call that we would we were relieved. We got to keep our baby girl. She has been amazing challenges will come as I have told you, but from day one she was my daughter. We never called her our foster daughter we never isolated her she is my daughter. We did our family photo’s and she was ours.
We had Amauri for 6 ½ months and we were blessed with a little boy he was only 3days old, and when they brought him to me instantly I was attached. Don’t get too attached is one of the first things they tell you in foster care. He was being fed by me, clothed by me, and I was caring for him, and instantly he was connected to me. I was attached to him, and I don’t know how I was not supposed to be attached, but that is what they tell you. We are still walking on eggshells waiting to be able to keep him forever. So you can imagine my devastation when his caseworker came and told me that he may have to be going because his biological mother has chosen someone to care for him.
After rolling my eyes in lividness because of my upset with the system that we are operating in. I had woken up for this baby in the middle of the night, loved him, fed him, bathed him, and had been there for all of his first and he’s my son, and I am attached against the rules against the suggestion. HE IS MY SON. The thing with infertility and adoption is you live your life in fear that the thing that you have grown to be yours can be taken in any moment. So when you are told that this little baby that you are raising could go it makes you wonder WHY LORD WHY. You begin to think “if I could just get pregnant that would be my baby and no one could take my baby.”
Immediately when you get that call you detach and you go into infertility woes. I want to tell you don’t do that. This is your child and if you don’t fight for him who will. If you have every yes from God don’t let the enemy bring you a counterfeit NO. I want you to believe God that what He has for you birthed or not birthed can not be taken from you. What He promised you He will perform it. The devil will always be busy in regards to you because he knew from the beginning that this child was given to greatness and that’s because you are great.
There will be challenges there will be hurts, because you have to know that every child God gives you is not yours some are for a season, and not for a lifetime. You have to have a relationship with God that is strong enough to tell you what is seasonal and what is lifetime. I do not know what is going to happen with our son, but I believe he is lifetime, and not seasonal. I believe that HE IS MY SON and whatever counterfeit NO that the enemy brings to me I will not breathe anything into it. I have faith that God brought it to me, and I will fight to keep it. Whatever happens believe God whatever happens believe God.
When you are devastated believe God when you are on eggshells believe God. When you are holding that child believe God. Whatever you do don’t let the counterfeit NO shake God’s yes. You are bigger then that you are stronger then that and you have more power then that. I love the way you love you when you love others so attach on faith, and whatever happens believe God. Don’t get too attached it’s the first thing you learn in foster care. Have unconditional love it’s the first thing you give to your child as a parent.
I love you no matter what and will hold you in my heart no matter what. I am a parent I am not a foster parent. I am a parent and I love each child in my home unconditionally. The bible says what God has joined together let no man take asunder. I say this to you because that is not just in regards to marriage what God has joined in your heart, and in your family no man can take that from you. I believe God for the victory of this situation, and no matter what I will still glorify God. He is my SON AND I AM COMPLETELY ATTACHED.
YOUR FERTILITY SISTER CORA COLEMAN.
Blind Parenting
My life has forever changed my husband and I picked up our daughter today, and I know it is going to be a challenge, but it is going to be great. We walk into the agency with big smiles on our faces ready to take on this beautiful girl. We did not want to let her go, and we ran out of there with her. When we left the agency she was smiling we opened the door, and darkness swept over us. Our eyes were covered, and in that moment we had to figure out how to raise this little girl without knowing anything about where or who she is. We had to raise this girl with no knowledge of anything that was helpful to the child that she would be towards us. Of course this is a hypothetical image but the feeling is very real. The days began and the questions began soon after.
“Why won’t she stop crying?”
“Why won’t she stop stomping after we tell her repeatedly not to?”
“Why won’t she not listen and follow simple directions?”
“Why doesn’t she know what the four-year olds that I am used to know?”
To any other biological mother this sounds like simple issues nothing that serious. Well to me it is brand new. I have never experienced this before, and I do not know what makes her cry. I do not know why she cries over the simplest things. I do not know why she won’t listen and follow directions, and to be honest I do not know her. She is a new child in our home, and we are learning her. This is a subject I would like to share with you guys that I call blind parenting. This subject is close to my heart, but also a sensitive subject I am sure to most of my readers as there are some who have won the battle of infertility, and there are some still fighting. I will try to be sensitive to all of the above. As you all know to me a mother is a mother. There is no difference in foster mothers, adopted mothers, and biological mothers. If God chose you to be a mom then by golly you are a mother. I for the time being am a foster parent. I do not see the foster part because I love Amauri as if I pushed her out myself. The mother in me is a mother to her, the problem does not lie with mothering it lies with the child that you are mothering. There is a huge difference between foster children and biological children as far as the upbringing and lifestyle they are accustomed to. It is more difficult to understand a foster child because they all come to you with different situations and circumstances. The fact about foster care is you never know what circumstance you are going to get. So you do not know how to react to that child until they are in your home for a long while. It is a stage of parenting that happens in foster care that you do not know until you are in it. When we first got Amauri she was a shinning star. She listened she followed directions. She almost never cried. As time went on she became more comfortable and she became more of a challenge. The thing about foster children is they almost never have control over their lives. They are always jumping from home to home. So I did not know months ago what I am typing now, but I want to allow some help to someone who is going through fostering, and feel like it’s a lost cause. When they are comfortable they begin to want to have control over everything because they like where they are they feel like if they take control then nothing can happen to them. They are used to being their own parent so when you step in trying to parent it makes them scared, shaken, and uncomfortable because they then have to relinquish control. They do not like change because it triggers where they came from and that brings about upset and temper tantrum. Foster children are used to things being taken from them so when they want something and it is not given to them they will get upset they will emotionally act out. They need the comfort of having control over something to feel safe. They test your buttons to see if you are going to stay true to them, and stay the course. Wow I am saying wow because as I am writing this I am beginning to understand my daughter more. When we got her she did not come with a manual she came with a book that said she acts this way, and this way, and does this. It did not say what was the first thing that made her cry, where did she get hurt the first time, was she a quiet baby or did she cry a lot, is she afraid of the dark. It did not say was she breastfed or bottle fed did she like being rocked or left alone. The things that a biological mom would know it did not have those things so I walk into this completely blind hoping that I will learn her and she will learn me. It is important that you as a foster parent or really as a parent stay the course it is not going to be easy and quite frankly the enemy is mad because you got what God had for you while he was trying to yank it away. Do not let the enemy take your blessing by using your blessing to take it from you. Something’s that I have done with my daughter to help with her behavior is I created a color coded behavior chart, and a treasure chest and she reacts well to it. Something else I gave her was a heart necklace I told her the necklace has special prayers from God in it that keeps her safe from anyone taking her from mommy and daddy if you know you are adopting and the case worker has said it’s going to happen. I recommend the locket necklace as well. It is hard for a foster child to attach to you when they are afraid every knock on the door is coming to take them away. I know that there will be mountains but I got to this mountain by faith and I am going to climb this mountain by faith until I can see the top. You may not know what they went through but you know where you want them to go instill in them the same love, guidance, and DISCIPLINE that you would a child you had birthed. These children need to be parented not thrown to the side like garbage but parented. It is blind parenting but someone has to do it.
Faithing the Logic
Faithing the Logic
The facts of infertility are broad and small at the same time. The one thing that is certain is with God all things are possible. With God you can achieve the unthinkable, and with God you can conceive the impossible. The biggest part of this struggle is faith. I want to talk to you today about faith conquering logic in this blog that I will title faithing the Logic. Now understand me I know faithing is not a word, but if you stick with me I am sure this will help you. When I was 14 years old I knew something wasn’t right with my body. My doctor wouldn’t listen, and I went from doctor to doctor all of them telling me something else. “You’re fine the cyst will go way.” “It wasn’t a cyst at all it was scar tissue.” “Every girl starts off irregular you will be fine.” So when I got diagnosed with infertility as devastating as it was my father looked at me and said a delay is not a denial. I didn’t want to hear that. It hurt too much in the state I was in. I immediately began to cry asking God why. I watched all the people around me get married and then get pregnant. I even watched unmarried women get pregnant around me. I would soon only turn around and have to fight the giant of infertility; when all I ever wanted was to be a mommy. I was unsettled about this. I couldn’t get why it had to be me. Now when you think about logic you think about what man says, the facts, and statistics. Logic places you in the 1% of odds and God places you in the 99% with His help. In my logical life I said to myself I went to the doctors, and I tried my hardest.
The doctor is telling me it isn’t possible for me to get pregnant alone so that must be true. I was so shortly after reminded about faith. Faith being the substance of things HOPED for and the evidence of things NOT seen it became clear to me that the doctor was not acting on faith she was telling me what she could see, and God works on the things unseen. The thing that you must realize is infertility is a battle that some women face with logic and some women face with faith. The woman of faith gets pregnant with God and has a testimony to help someone, or she adopts and has a testimony, or she is a God mother and has a testimony. The woman with logic stops at no and finds something else to desire. The woman with the issue of blood had faith. She could have kept bleeding stopped at the no, but she believed God. What I am trying to say to you is that if you face anything with God being your sight and not your logical mind leading you can conquer anything the enemy throws in your direction. To faith your logic is to tell your logic God is seeing me through this because I can’t see. I recently made a decision to faith my logic to trust God in all that I do, and that whatever happened was all in God hands. I prepared myself for this choice by writing to God the things that I wanted specifically. I prayed to God once for what I needed and I stood back and praised Him for it in advance. When you can trust God to see for you whatever storm that lay ahead will not matter because God is your sight in the storm.
I went to my amazing doctor her name is Doctor Gray last week, and the doctor told me that my ovary felt fine, and my tube during surgery wasn’t entirely blocked which means I can try to get pregnant on my own. I have trusted God to do His will since the negative pregnancy test. The doctor told me last year it was not probable for me to get pregnant on my own, and this year she told me to try “I may get pregnant with triplets.” I walked into the doctor’s office on faith and used God’s sight to fight my logic. Whatever you may be going through in life I challenge you to let faith walk you and God’s sight hold you. There is nothing that God can’t see you can’t trust Him on one part of your life and then use logic for the other. There is going to be spiritual warfare because that comes with the fight of getting your true heart’s desire according to God’s will for your life. You will have Job moments in your life, but the thing that made Job so great is that he let God see and he stood on faith even in the worst of times. Job held God’s hand. Sometimes we allow logic to play God in our head when faith is what God works on. Watch this how can you believe God have faith in a man you can’t see and use logic for the things in your heart that you can’t see. If God can be powerful enough for you to pray to can He be powerful enough to move things in your life; simply because you trusted Him.
If you continue to walk on logic and not use faith how can you expect God to move? Your time has come it is time to faith your logic allow God to see and your faith be the controller of your mind. This time last year I let logic scare me all year “you won’t get pregnant” “God doesn’t love you enough for you to be a mom” “Nehemiah is just a dream he isn’t a real thing.” “You went through a very expensive treatment and still didn’t get pregnant the doctors must be right,” BUT God He began to direct my life. “Start the fostering to adopt plan theirs someone waiting for you.” Now I am a mommy. “I wouldn’t place this desire in your heart to leave you now.” Now I am healed “I am God and beside me there is no other.” Now I am helping you. “I am not a man that I shall lie.” Now I can try to conceive. I began to faith my logic. I challenge you today to make a choice. Will you let logic detour you from the promises of God or will you let faith allow God to see for you. I challenge you to stand in the face of negativity and the enemies tools, and say you know what devil God is unseen trusting Him is faith all by itself. He knows my beginning and my end and He will perform it. I rebuke you devil for making me not believe God for what He said and today I am faithing my logic.
You’ve Been Cordially Invited!!
I know it has been awhile since I posted, but I was trying to find a way to be encouraging in the midst of having won the battle and become a mom. I know that there are still some of you that are still fighting and have not won yet, but God has not forgotten about you. He will come through for you. My father preached yesterday on MY FIRST MOTHER’S DAY about God coming through for you. He said that God is going to give you the baby without the labor. Don’t be discouraged be encouraged and know that you may not have labored, but you will get your baby….Happy Belated Mother’s Day to all who got to celebrate their win, and Happy Belated Soon to be Mother’s Day for all of my fertility sisters fighting, but know they are going to win…This is for you!!
Motherhood is something that many of us especially my fertility sisters dream of. We pray, fast, take shots, take pills, prenatal vitamins, special lubricants and drops. We fight for the ability to be a mother. We get so consumed by the fight that we stress ourselves out and we lose the thrill of conceiving. Making a baby becomes a second job. We become God’s to our own fight and dreams, and we forget about the God in the battle we are fighting. We get tired and weary and helpless, and we quickly forget that God can and is still working on our behalf. We listen to our friends cry about pregnancy and then wonder really God her and not me. We go through the pain and hurt secretly within ourselves and we hold up everyone else. So after we fight hard and cry and suffer we get an amazing call from a doctor or adoption agency that we won and everything that we ever dreamed of comes to pass, but then the question hits like a ton of bricks what now? You have fought you have gotten what you dreamed of but where do you go from here? Do you settle for what you have or do you grant yourself the invitation to reach for what is next and what is in your grasp?
My sister was telling me that a woman spoke to her and told her that dreams are just a manifestation of God showing us what is in our reach. So you become a mother you adopt, foster, or become a God mother and then you wonder what to do next. Amauri is my pride and joy and I am so happy to have her, but does that mean I stop here? No it does not! What you need to know is that you are able to have what God chooses and still go after the desire you have in your heart. The day will come where my daughter will wonder why mommy is brown and where are baby pictures of her and why is it that the rest of my family is brown and she isn’t. She will read my blogs, and she will wonder if she was simply the second best option. I battle with this conversation in my head more than you know. Suddenly God told me “she was My first option” she was My will for your life. She still came just in a different way. She is not a coincidence to happen in your life. She came exactly when I wanted her too.
I shared with a friend of mine that about a year ago I had a dream of Amauri as a baby. She was gorgeous. I remember telling my sister Daria about her. I told her she didn’t look like she could have come from me, but she was mine. I remember telling her how gorgeous she was and I just wanted to take her out of the dream. In this dream I was walking around in the hospital. It was weird for me because if I had just birthed her why was I walking around like normal wearing jeans and a purple t-shirt. I then saw her first birthday and first steps. Looking at her now she is that same little girl in my dreams. God showed me all of her first moments so that I could have those experiences since she was not with me during her actual first. it was a beautiful gift. It became so clear to me when I realized all this time I had been praying to be a mommy. I never said that I wanted to birth all my children. I prayed to be pregnant and just because I have Amauri does not mean that I’m settling. Getting Amauri has simply invited me to reach for everything else that God has for me.
I wrote a song a while back that was in my heart yesterday. The lyrics were. I don’t want bad news. Please I don’t want that call. I can’t take the heart break the mistakes. I just can’t take it at all. So please don’t be the bad news. Please don’t break me again again. Please don’t be the bad news. Cause if you are then this could be my end.
When writing this song I was writing about my situation and receiving the call that I was not pregnant. I related it to being my end, and I didn’t realize God closing that door invited me to another even more amazing door. I am not Amauri’s biological mother no matter how badly I wish it was true I am not. Even though she is not my biological child I opened my other door, and God invited me to her and she is one of the best things in my life. I was able to give my daughter the love and safety and life that she had dreamed of. I was able to fulfill her dream while fulfilling my dream as well. I did not settle. I just read God’s whole invitation. I did not forget that God told me that I would birth my own seed, but I am inviting myself to the fact that God has SO MUCH FOR ME, and He has placed so much love in me. So while holding the gift that He gave me (Amauri) that was birthed through someone else. I can be invited to be pregnant and birth the purpose and the seed within myself. I realize God gave me Amauri so that I could raise her up and not have to be so down about the “rejected” promise that I got from the failed IVF. I quickly realized my being content in the one gift that I have has allowed God to prepare me for the future gifts I will receive.
Rather you adopted, still fighting, or have fostered. I want you to know that you have been invited to reach out for the promises God has given you. Your baby that you have now is not your settling choice. It is simply God’s first choice and your destiny. God has not given up on you; He has not taken back what He said; He simply is waiting for you to read your entire invitation. The chorus to my song is God give help to the helpless. God give peace to the weary souls. Oh God give babies to the barren hearts. Help them to know they are not alone. Help them to know they are not alone.
It is important for you to know that you are not alone a delay to the first round does not mean you lost the battle. Choosing to adopt does not mean that you settled, and did not trust God. Fostering does not mean that you simply took what you could get. Do not give up! God is cordially inviting you to see all the sides of your promise. All of the options and directions He can take you. You can still birth. You can adopt. You can foster. All you need to do is reach. God is inviting you to not give up on what He said but to trust Him to follow through. One of the things I have learned as a new mom is that it is very important with my daughter for me to follow through. She can trust me more when I follow through. God is still in the business of miracles. He will follow through because I believe He will. He will continue to do it for me, and He has invited you too believe so make sure to RSVP…..
Believe in Destiny and God Will Do the Rest!!
XOXO Your Fertility Sister CoCoa
“Mama look at the BIG BALL”
“Mama look at the big ball.” She says. I try to keep my composure because this is all new to me, and I have never been called this before. “Mama look at the big ball.” Her first words wow that feeling will stick with me forever. I love her more than my heart can hold I am sure, but I don’t care because I would give her my heart, and I have only known her for approximately twenty minutes. Our classes are done, and they were long, and detailed. They were filled with paperwork, and lessons to learn. They were hard to get through, and some people gave up, but it got me to “Mama look at the big ball.” Ladies and gentlemen after all the trials and tribulations Brandon and I took on fostering to adopt, and we have been blessed with an amazing little girl. She is 4 years old. The amazing thing is she didn’t come from me, but I see myself in her, and I love her no differently than I would have love a child I birthed myself.
Her birthday is a day after my Grandma rest her souls birthday. We wanted to name our first birthed daughter Amauri it means a gift from God. Her birth names also means a gift from God. We were fighting through life and we are still going to fight for being able to birth children. Our hearts are with this precious baby that was given to us without a fight without tears of sadness without detachment she fit right in to our family as if she had waited for us her whole life. I got to celebrate her birthday with her. I got to take her to her doctor’s appointment. She automatically began to call me mama. Now I can tell you guys for real it isn’t about birthing a child that makes you a mother. It’s the big ball. It’s the bath time it’s the story time it’s our special night-time song. It’s the spontaneous hugs when your child says I love you mommy. That is what makes you a parent.
I am a mother because she chose me. I am a mother because God chose me. It’s hard to sit in life with hard diagnoses of cancer, pcos, infertility or anything else, but you have to believe that God is still choosing you. God is still wanting you to be a parent to a child born or unborn. Your time is coming there were many night I cried for my failed IVF treatment, and lost children. There were times I though God had forgotten about me, and I would not make it past this. I felt like how could I love something that didn’t come from me. How can I be a mommy if I can’t say “I brought you into this world, and I will take you out” like all the other mothers could? Will my family love this child as they would a child I birthed.
Would my husband love this child as he would a child I birthed? I had all these questions, and then one day I let go, and let God. I said God let my husband love this child as he would a child I birthed. Let my family see this child as a child I birthed. Let this child see us as their parents, and nothing more or less. When I let go and let God I was able to see the big ball. The ball my daughter was talking about is a revolving ball in Downtown Dallas, and it’s beautiful. It turns around and around and around when you are sitting inside of it. When you are sitting inside of it your view and perception changes as you are sitting down watching.
God wants this from you to see things in a different perspective. The ball never changes on the inside or out it is just always turning as is life. The perception you see inside the ball is always changing because that is the world. I challenge you to see the big ball, and understand being a mommy will never change for you. It’s the perception within your dream that will always change when you give God the wheel. Don’t give God the plan you have stop look and listen, and watch Him change your perception. She is my Amauri she is my daughter. I didn’t birth her, but I would die for her like a birth mother. I would give her a kidney like a birth mother. I will hug her like a birth mother, and I will love her like a birth mother. I am still a mommy my perception through God’s eyes has simply changed. Stay tuned this is not the end of my journey it is only the beginning.
